JELLY DONUTS

 Jelly Donuts


IF IT TAKES YOU THREE BITES AND YOU STILL HAVEN’T FOUND THE DOT OF JELLY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DANGED THING, IT AIN’T NO JELLY DONUT!

I don’t like what’s happening in my world. Things are looking bad.  We have one crisis after another.  We focus too much on military arsenals, technologies, politics, whether we are wearing the right stuff, and what other people think of us on social media.  We have forgotten how to correctly do the simple stuff that makes life worth living. Like making a decent jelly donut. Or knowing a decent jelly donut when we see it.

College isn’t for everyone.  Trade school isn’t either.  Apprenticeship is hard and bosses are annoying anyway.  So it seems many become entrepreneurs. They become bakers of donuts.  Or rather they become owners of places that employ people who don’t require sleep to bake donuts. How hard can that be?  You hire some people to show up just when the bars are closing, and I submit many are the one and same, and they proceed to drop recipes of dough and sugar until the entrepreneur’s dictates of quantities are met and they are partitioned off onto trays in the glass window display cases ready for the droopy eyed, sugar-starved folks heading off to office desks and the throttles of heavy machinery arrive.  

If the Landlords of Dough have timed it right, they will be sold out except for the lonely slabs of unfilled long johns staring up at you pleadingly, like a snot-nosed puppy at a puppy mill. The donut shop entrepreneur was afraid of the huge loss that could occur if more of the good stuff--the freaking jelly donuts, chocolate-iced, long-john stuffed, and fried fritters lasted beyond the time old folks sauntered in for a brunch with a cup of coffee and one or two of those bad boys mid-morning. 

But here is the catch: if, on a regular basis, mass quantities of the previously mentioned are still there, rarely are you in a good donut shop.  Knowledgeable people just will not, can not stand for any of the ilk to long survive. But there are those other people.  Some people will just eat anything with sugar on it, and in that induced state, miscalculate what is good and confuse it with what gives them that one hour of psychedelic awareness of what is possible that day,“ because I have so much energy”. Good be damned.

GOOD JELLY DONUTS HAVE A SHELF LIFE OF 6 NANO-SECONDS. Proceed cautiously before you stock up.

1) The donut on the left is what you usually see. It is a game. Try to find the dot.  Three bites or less. This is no jelly donut.  This is one of those orphaned, unfilled, long-johns that someone accidentally sat on.  Jelly didn’t make it to the opening.  Dough is retracting into itself looking for it.  

2) The donut in the middle looks promising.  There is actually something in it.  But what?  It is some viscous matter, but what? I find that a bit disturbing. Aren’t raspberries deep red?  I think this donut is trying to heal itself. Why am I reminded of that snot-nosed puppy again? Kindly be generous and offer your partner the first one.  Proceed once more information is acquired. 

3) I’d buy the donut on the right in a heartbeat.  Followed by three thousand heartbeats that will come in the next minute or two after eating one. Luscious looking deep red jelly pouring out.  Three pounds of icing not hiding the flavor of the already sufficient quantities of glucose.  Check. Someone that knew how to actually make a jelly donut made these. I don’t know you.  But, wherever you are, I’m proud of you.  And I’m tearing up a little bit now. Don’t look at me.

I’m well into my golden years.  I hope whoever first named this time of life is wearing thermal underwear in hell.  But, I’m not feeble.  I’m good to those that show deference to my years, and love and care deeply for those that mean so much to my life. I wish well to all.  I hope I have helped some of you today.  It means so much to know that all this knowledge hasn’t been squandered.  


Keith

copyright 11/13/22


Comments

  1. AnonymousNovember 15, 2022 at 9:13 AM

    Amen, brother. Same experience now holds true for any fast food at a drive-thru. (Especially since the advent of pandemics} The people who prepare these orders are obviously trained to make sure everything is not right in that bag they hand you. If it is, they are fired on the spot.

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